Pumpkin Juice
by SakuraAngel3
Summary: Remus gets bored late at night, what's he do? Fill a pool full of pumpkin juice! Choas will ensue.
1. Pumpkin Juice

Pumpkin Juice

It was late at night and Remus decided he was bored.

"No one else is up and I need to do something before I drive myself crazy!" Remus was then struck with a brilliant idea.

"I'll go for a swim! Not just any ordinary swim though!" Remus said a spell and a pool appeared before him.

"Now most people want to swim in Jell-O or chocolate, not me though it has to be something original, hmm."

Remus thought. "Pumpkin juice! Ah! That's it by Jove!" Remus filled the pool with pumpkin juice and jumped in. His swim trunks had adorable little wolves on them. (AN: Kawaii picture isn't it?) Severus heard the splashing and was halfway through an episode of Passions.

"Can't a grown man watch a soap opera in peace?" Severus harrumphed. He walked outside in his fuzzy Yoda slippers to find Remus splashing around and making clicking noises like a dolphin.

"Free Willy!" Lupin shouted.

"You imbecile what are you doing, it's four in the morning." Severus growled in annoyance. Remus chuckled. "Frankly my good sir I don't give a damn." Snape groaned. Madam Hooch pushed him in.

"Lighten up homie and learn to live it up! Know what I'm sayin yo?" Madam Hooch burst into laughter.

Snape spat out cold pumpkin juice. "Am I the only sane one in this school?"

Albus looked faintly amused. "A pool party and no one invited me? For shame, alas alas, there's no party without pigs in a blanket!" Sprout put on some music, which happened to be Ace of Base.

"All that she wants is another baby, yeah all that she wants." Remus sang along which sounded like howling, more like dog killing.

Snape shook himself off. "You all escaped from the little white room! Just like everything is against me, spies everywhere!"

Remus laughed. "Yes sir James Bond!" Snape walked away.

Remus chuckled. "Anyone for eggnog?" And laughed.

"Common Snape disco!" Professor Vector called. He was dressed in a bright silver disco suit. "Now that's disturbing." Snape shivered. But when he went back to his room he found his Blue's Clues ice cream had melted. "

Oh, and I had the little paw prints to!" Snape fell asleep, while outside pumpkin juice stained everything!


	2. Apple Juice, Time for Revenge!

Apple Juice: Snape's Revenge (Sequel to Pumpkin Juice).

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or story to Harry Potter, nor do I own anything other entities mentioned in this story. I have a very interesting sense of humor. Hope you enjoy. As always, please read and review. Thanks!

Snape was very angry with Remus Lupin for humiliating him in front of the teachers with his little pumpkin juice incident.

'_I have to get him back somehow.'_ Snape thought. He decided he better not go on a Hannibal Lector kick, and replace all the school food with fava beans, and start referring to Remus as "Clarice". Then Dumbledore would throw him in the clink and he'd get that so unattractive muzzle.

"I'm not Sirius Black." Snape huffed. Most of the school was empty since it was Christmas break. Snape was in mid- thought when he heard a commotion coming from Lupin's office. "What's that nut up to know?" Snape secretly had hung mistletoe everywhere, and last night watched Jack Frost for the sixth time, feeling sorry for poor Jack for not getting the girl. Snape carefully opened Lupin's office door, to find Remus watching TV.

"I love this special that Greg he's the best!" Remus was dancing to The Wiggles Christmas special.

"Mashed potatoes mashed potatoes!" Lupin sang.

Snape laughed. "Oh my gosh! You look like you're trying to do Annie!"

Remus smirked. "I love you Mr.Snape! Leapin lizards you've got unwashed hair!"

Snape scowled, "TV is for losers."

Remus grinned "Oh yeah? Is that why you sing ROXANNE at the top of your lungs? Hmm Mr. Macho Potions Master? I pity the fool who don't see that!" Remus cracked up. Snape knew he defiantly had to get them all back. He grinned evilly.

He finished concocting his plan while his cheese sticks finished baking in the microwave. "I should get Dumbledore to for eating my last Rice Krispies treat on Halloween! Maybe make his Cheerios Snap! Crackle! And Pop! Nah, maybe turn his feet plaid, no no has to affect Lupin to." He thought and though then got a genius idea.

Remus went to turn on the water for his mid- morning shower, and the water wasn't clear it was.. "Yellow what the hell?" Remus blurted out! Dumbledore was battling a sea of raining Lucky Charms while trying to get out of his bathroom. Trelawney faced a far worse face for the TV was stuck on nothing but Hanson and O Town videos.

"Ahh cruel and unusual punishment!" She cried. Everyone came to breakfast looking disgruntled. Snape couldn't help but laugh when Remus trotted in the room. "

Hmm apples, rather apple juice, have a bit of trouble with the shower kid?' Snape sneered, "Stay outta this junior or I'll reveal your darkest secret." Lupin threatened.  
Snape gulped. "No please anything but that!"

Remus grinned. "Hey everyone Severus's real mom is Martha Stewart! He loves to clean and bake those fancy parfaits!"

A short staring contest ensued, which naturally Snape won. "I won! Yep! Yep! Yep! Really really I did!" Snape chortled and did a victory dance

. "Shut up or I'll kick your honey buns!" Remus sighed.

"Don't make me come back there!" Dumbledore shook a finger. Later that night Remus went to bed still smelling of apple juice, and now eggnog that Severus had do conveniently dripped in on his head. He went to lie on his waterbed to find the water had been replaced with apple juice.

Hope I could make you laugh; I sure was when I was writing it!


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